Being a parent is hard. Being a person-who-has-a-job is hard. Both together? Also hard. Here are 7 strategies we use to manage family life and self care as two, full-time working parents of two kids. We aren’t thriving at all times, but we also aren’t in complete chaotic suffering, which is all I can really ask for, right?! Seriously though – I have fine-tuned these 7 strategies over many years, especially since 2020 when I started working for myself a lot more. I hope you see some parallels with your life here – or that you can adopt a strategy or two! 

Flexible work

Of course, many working parents do not have flexible work schedules. I am privileged to be self-employed and my partner works full-time from home, so flexibility is a reality for us.

With whatever amount of flex YOU have, wield it to your advantage! Use PTO hours/days. Take off all the government holidays. Work through lunch so you can leave an hour earlier if your employer will be cool with that. Maybe there is flexibility available that no one has explored with a supervisor yet – the only way to find out is to ask.

For me, as a small business owner who is the CEO, employee, accountant, social media manager, administrative assistant, and everything in between, flexible work looks like some long days and creative use of time. Much of my job also includes home and office visits for lactation care patients in the greater Nashville area.

I try to stack 3 days a week with office and home visits. It often means I have a couple of really long days of driving and patient care—leaving home 7-8 am and getting home 6-7 pm, seeing 4-6 patients per day, and completing most of the charting in that amount of time. Virtual visits generally get scheduled all in one day, and I can take care of those from home while running some laundry or completing administrative tasks for my business in between visits. 

My husband works full time with typical 8 am to 5 pm hours. He has a lot of phone and video calls and has really mastered multi-tasking when possible. He keeps a lot of the home and yard care stuff running and he is also typically able to do kid school pick ups on afternoons that I’m working.

Furthering flexibility – Fit work in the margins

I definitely work at random times. Is there a working parent who doesn’t do this?! I might respond to patient messages during halftime of the kids’ soccer game, get somebody scheduled while waiting in car rider pickup line, or finish charting while I do something I enjoy, like walking on the treadmill or watching a TV show. I generally try to do these things early in the morning while kids are occupied or later in the evening after the kids are in bed. My favorite trick to use is getting to school pick up early. If school pick up is at 3:30, I might be able to get there from my work commute at 3 pm and use those 30 minutes to finish up work or other quick tasks.

Another tool that helps with using the margins is that I keep a running “to do” list in my Notes app and add to it and check it religiously. When there’s a pocket of time, I can quickly find a task to complete. Unless I want to use that time to stare out the window and do nothing – which I also do sometimes ;o)

*Note: it’s also important to just HAVE margins that AREN’T filled. This year I started keeping my phone on silent and taking off my Apple watch on weekends so I can really shut down and only check my phone when I feel like it.

One calendar to rule us all

I am an old-school paper planner gal – I have a stack of Simplified planners from at least the past 14 years! Everything is in there, so if I die, go to the stack of planners for any essential information ;o)

Husband and I take time each week to go over the calendars together. I use paper, he uses Google calendar. He has tried to get me to go digital and I just can’t do it. Digital or not, as working parents with two kids, we absolutely have to come together to review the schedule weekly and sometimes daily. So, we have a little meeting to divide up who is doing what and when. We usually meal plan at the same time.

There’s also a large, color-coded wall calendar hanging on the back door so that the basic schedule is visible to everyone. This helps with foundation 4, “have fun,” from my post 5 foundations to help working parents thrive, so the kids can see what’s coming up!

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

I am still a paper calendar girlie, but we did just purchase the Greenlight Family Hub. Set up took a little bit of time, but now everyone has the app on their devices and we have a shared family calendar – it’s even color-coded. We can talk to the Hub too! 

I am still a paper calendar girlie, but we did just purchase the Greenlight Family Hub. Set up took a little bit of time, but now everyone has the app on their devices and we have a shared family calendar – it’s even color-coded. We can talk to the Hub too! 

My main motivators to go digital for the family:

• So. Many. Activities.
• Kids need to develop their calendar habits;
• Chores lists that kids can check off – and even extra “up for grabs” options tied to income for them;
• Shared lists so *anyone* can add to the grocery list;
• AI assistant so you can ask her to tell you the schedule OR you can look at the screen yourself;
• Photo slideshow for the screensaver – it’s fun!
• The original Greenlight app is what we have already been using for our teen’s debit card and spending money, so now we’ve expanded that to little sister and added dad as a manager so nothing is just “mom’s” job.

[paid link] Join Greenlight with my referral link and get $30 to $50 when you open an account ($50 credit available through 9/30/2026. Greenlight provides a referral link to anyone who makes a purchase; you and I both get a little free money!)

Meal plan

I’ll have more to share on feeding your family in future posts, but the basic outline for meal planning is:

• Gather input from family on Friday/Saturday
• Check calendar for what to plan around
• Plan menus
• Place grocery order for pickup on Saturday/Sunday
• Everyone helps put away groceries

Now that the kids are older, they typically choose one meal per week and help with selecting the menu and making it. We usually need to plan around sports and extracurriculars so I do 3 days of cooking, 1 day of sandwiches or DIY, 1-2 days of leftovers, and 1 day of takeout on Fridays! (Remember to “Decide Once” when you can – read more in my blog post, 5 foundations to help working parents thrive).

In the past couple of weeks I have tried making all of our main meals in one Sunday afternoon, thanks to Tim Laelli and his “The Bare Minimum” substack menus and recipes. It’s a lot of work! I do think it’s worth it for us right now, but I don’t think I could do it if I had little kids. I’ve spent 4-5 hours the past 2 Sundays to make about 10 meals and snacks. Heavy workload for a Sunday, but all week we’re just heating up what we need rather than hauling out the cutting board and pots and pans every night. My 10 year old helped out a little bit with Sunday prep; otherwise, it was me and my favorite playlists in the kitchen. Everyone helped with cleanup though!

Extra help

My husband works from home and has flexibility to do kid drop off and pick up on my long work days away from home. We are also lucky to live very close to my in-laws, and most weeks they are jumping in for some pick ups too. My MIL regularly offers help with household chores and she and FIL are generous to take our kids so we can have parent down-time too. Beyond that, we have some school buddies who are always willing to grab an extra kid if needed – and we do the same for them.

We also have a house cleaner who comes once a month to do a thorough cleaning. Our fam still does the day-to-day stuff but it’s such a nice reset to have the once-a-month cleaning because it also gets us to tidy up really well before she comes, and then we come home to a freshly cleaned house. There is NOT cooking on house cleaning days! Gotta keep that kitchen shiny for at least 12 hours ;o)

Plan regularly scheduled time off

I’m really prioritizing time off this year. I looked at the kids’ school calendar for those random Mondays or Fridays they have off, and am trying to block off the other end of the weekend for a chunk of 4 days without going into the office or seeing patients. It has worked out a few times so far this year, and it’s a wonderful recovery time to get family tasks done and rest a bit. The work I do is emotionally demanding because of supporting families in vulnerable times, so it’s essential I take care of my own spirit to continue to care for my patient families and my own family well.

My husband and I have also always tried to keep a regular cadence of time for each of us to have solitude. This usually works out to a night or day to ourselves every couple of months while the other parent takes on all kid and household tasks so the other can truly rest and clock out. We did this recently on a Saturday – we all went to soccer together, and dad left with the kids to go to the grandparents house and I went home and worked in silence in the garden all afternoon, got some favorite takeout for dinner, finished watching season 2 of The Pitt, and went to sleep early. It was super restorative!

Whether you’re a working parent or not: you deserve rest. You don’t need to earn it. Rest is a basic human need. Take time to just be a person!

Family meetings – teamwork makes the dream work

Every 6-8 weeks or so we have a family meeting. We announce it ahead of time, gather input from everyone, type an agenda, and make drinks and snacks. It’s usually a Sunday night for an hour or less. These meetings allow us to check in with each other’s highs and low, talk about any concerns people have, and re-group around family values, house rules, and care of our home. These are especially important as our kids have gotten older because they are stakeholders! They have opinions and ideas and we value their thoughts. We always talk about our family as a team, and the meetings help us make a game plan and framework for the next month or two. We (adults) are able to do less because the kids can take on more!

Remember – there’s no such thing as balance! It’s choosing what gets energy now and what waits for later. What strategies do you use in your working parent life? I’d love to hear how you meet family needs, work demands, and care for yourself. Comment here on the blog or go to this post @proparentsprep on Instagram and share!